


All that I am, All that I ever was

by medusa20



Series: The Galveston Chronicles [14]
Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family Drama, Sexual Content, parental violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-31 04:49:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/340086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medusa20/pseuds/medusa20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The final chapter of the Galveston Chronicles.  After ten years of friendship and romance, something has to give in Sheldon and Penny's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All that I am, All that I ever was

**Author's Note:**

> As always, my eternal gratitude to my fantabulous beta: Trippy41.
> 
> Also, my thanks to all of you who read, commented and left kudos. You are my motivation when the muse won't play nice.

Diane leans on her elbows, mimicking Penny’s posture at the lunch counter.

“Pen, you know I am only saying this ‘cause I love you.  You gotta break up with him.”

Penny turns slowly to face her friend, “I have to break up with him?  Are you…are you talking about Sheldon?”

Penny and Diane watch out the storefront window as Sheldon yanks on his bus pants before the bus reaches him.  He had come to visit Penny and have lunch before heading home to work on his latest paper.  The bus rolls to a stop and Sheldon grips his messenger bag strap tightly before stepping onto the vehicle.

“Look at him,” Diane gestures toward the window. “You’d think he was entering the gates of hell or something.  It’s just a bus.”  Diane gives the counter a swipe before disappearing in the back.  Penny watches the bus roll away.  She can just make out Sheldon in his seat but his head is bowed, probably reading to pass the time.

Penny sighs.  Another two hours before she can go home and hang out with Sheldon.  Sheldon, who’d told her last night as they lay out in his back yard and watched the night sky that he was going back to Austin for another two years of teaching.

“I’ll come back,” he turned to face her; the color of his eyes indistinct in the night but Penny felt them just the same.  “Or, you could come with me.”  That hopeful lilt nearly made her run home to pack but she shook her head instead.

“Separation is good,” She lied through her teeth to him.  “It’ll give me a chance to figure out what I want to do.”

“I thought you had done that,” Sheldon griped.

“You’re not my mother, Sheldon.”  Penny sat up.  She had enrolled in junior college.  She’d be taking courses - dental assistant - and found the thought of doing that absolutely horrifying but, hey, she couldn’t waitress for the rest of her life now, could she?

Sheldon’s hand curled around hers, tugging at her until she lay next to him again.

“You’ll be here when I come back?”  His question is whispered; his grip on her hand tightens.

 _I don’t know_.  The thought was fleeting and raised goose bumps on Penny’s arms.  She hadn’t ever thought of leaving.  Sheldon did it with such ease and it had never once occurred to her.  He pulled on her hand until she reclined next to him.  Sheldon propped himself up on one elbow and pressed his lips to hers.  Penny’s hand reached up to thread through the hair at the nape of his neck (he had let it grow out slightly at her request). Sheldon’s tongue slipped into her mouth and one of his legs worked between hers.  Penny moved so both her hands could start pulling his shirts up.

“Penny,” Sheldon’s breath was hot against her neck.  “We’re out in the yard.”

“It’s pitch-black.” She whispered back and rolled her hips beneath him, causing him to moan.  Their encounters since that first time on her couch had been sporadic to say the least.  She took his earlobe between her teeth a bit too aggressively and he squeaked.  “Don’t you want me, Sheldon?”

Sheldon jerked free.  He rolled off her and sat up.  “More than you can imagine, but there is a problem.”

Penny ran her tongue across her lower lip and grinned slowly when Sheldon mimicked her action.

“What’s that, Sweetie?”

“I am concerned about being caught engaging in coitus _in my backyard_.”

Penny waved her hand then reached out to pull Sheldon back down on top of her.  In seconds they had lost themselves in the feel and warmth of each other.  Sheldon’s hands had crawled up under Penny’s tank top and she had managed to slide one hand down the front of his pants when Mary Cooper’s yell split the night

“Shel-LLLYYY!  Pen-NNY!  Y’all are gonna get eaten alive out there.  It’s almost curfew anyway.”

Sheldon stood and offered Penny a hand.  She took hold of it, the familiar dry coolness wrapping itself around her palm.  What would it be like to never feel it again?  Penny looked down at their joined hands as they headed back toward the Coopers’ back door.  Ridiculous!  It would be like cutting off her own arm.

 

X

 

Penny luxuriates in the feel of the sun on her body.  It is so hot; she can almost hear the suntan lotion she applied sizzling.  She bakes on the rock while the creek below burbles and Sheldon, cloaked in shade behind her, scribbles in a notebook.  She keeps her eyes closed behind the sunglasses she has on as she begins to speak to him.

“Sheldon, what happens once you come home?”

The pen continues to scratch along the paper.  She considers that he didn’t hear her but dismisses that thought immediately.  Vulcan hearing and all.

“Sheldon?”

“Penny, I am not sure what you mean.  What happens in regard to what, specifically?  My work?  My living arrangements?  Life on this planet?”

Penny rolls onto her stomach and looks over her sunglasses at him, “I’m talking about us.”

Sheldon’s pen is poised in mid-air; he stares right back at her, “I’m afraid I don’t understand the question.”

Penny groans and sits up, pulling her towel around her waist.

“Sheldon, we are in this relationship and it needs to move forward. You know, a body at rest tends to stay at rest.”

“I am aware of that principle, yes.”  He arches an eyebrow at her.

Penny feels her cheeks redden.  She shrugs one shoulder, “I’m just wondering….”

Sheldon closes his notebook and clicks his pen.  He opens his messenger bag to put both items away then faces Penny once more.

“What exactly do you want me to say to you, Penny?”

It’s like someone turned off the sun.  All the warmth around her disappears.  Her hands tighten on the towel around her waist and the breath she draws in through her nose roars like a cannon inside her head.

“I don’t want you to say anything, Sheldon,” Penny stands up and ties the towel around her.  She shoves her feet into her flip flops and slings her bag over her shoulder.  “How silly of me to think you had anything other than physics in that big head of yours.  That you would ever think of anyone but yourself.” She begins to climb down the rocks.  “That I would ever figure into your life’s plans!” She hollers back up to him and stalks out of the woods.

She keeps blinking away the tears even though she can hear Sheldon crashing through the undergrowth as he tries to catch up to her.  Penny quickens her pace and blindly digs for her car keys in the bag over her shoulder.  She reaches her mother’s car and opens the door.  She is just about to climb in when Sheldon’s hand lands on her shoulder.

“Let me go.”  Penny growls through her teeth.

“Turn around,” he pants.

She sighs in defeat and turns slowly to face him.

“Why are you angry?”  Sheldon’s chest rises and falls as he tries to catch his breath.

Penny rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  Why is she angry?  How many times has she answered this question for him over the years?

“Let me go, Sheldon,” she murmurs to her feet.

“I beg your pardon?”

Penny lifts her head so quickly, she nearly clips his jaw.  His brows are drawn together and his eyes search her face for any familiar expression.

“Sheldon, I am angry because I asked about the future - our future - and you answer me with: “What do you expect me to say?”

“Well,” Sheldon crosses his arms over his chest, “What _do_ you expect me to say?”

“I expect,” Penny pushes herself away from the car, advancing toward him.  “I expect you to tell me how you feel about me.  To have some kind of plan - you plan out your meals and goddamn trips to the bathroom but you have no idea where this,” she gestures between the two of them, "is going?”

Sheldon surprises her by reaching out and enfolding her in his arms.  He holds her to his chest and rests his chin on the top of her head.

“When I come home from Austin, I will have accomplished all my goals except for winning the Nobel Prize.”

“What about my goals?”  She snaps.

“What about your goals?” Sheldon repeats.  “Achieve them.  Strive for them while I am gone and once I return.”

“You really mean that?”  Penny looks up at him.

“Have I ever held you back?”  Sheldon asks in all sincerity.

 

X

 

Time passes. Letters are sent, answered, re-read and, sometimes, ignored but only for a day or two.  Penny waits to hear from him and Sheldon is an eager correspondent being far too cheap for phone calls.

Penny goes to class, does her homework and studies for all her tests.  She understands the personal satisfaction of academic success for the first time in her life.  Sheldon is thrilled with the copy of her report card that she sent him.

Right before midterms, Penny stops by the campus center for a cup of coffee. She is meeting a study group and is inexplicably early.  Near her table, a girl is hanging a poster on a bulletin board.  Penny’s eyes skim over it once the girl moves on.  They skim the poster then backtrack and read the poster.  Finally, Penny gets up and stands in front of the poster so close she can smell the ink.

Auditions.  A play. No. A musical.  My Fair Lady.

She grabs her bag and heads out the door and doesn’t look back.

 

X

 

Penny folds up Sheldon’s most recent letter and slips it back into the envelope.  The breeze moves the porch swing idly along and Penny muses over Sheldon’s words.  Words like _permanent, future, together, always._   She pushes off the floorboards and the swing picks up speed.  She always wanted to hear these words from Sheldon and, now that she has, there is a pit lodged in her stomach.

She hadn’t landed the role of Eliza (her voice just couldn’t deliver) even though they loved every other part of her audition.  Instead, she was given the role of Henry Higgins’ mother - a small but crucial part - and Penny certainly knew how to deal with guys like Higgins.  She played her part so well that she even received a few sentences of acknowledgement in the review written by the local paper.  Since then, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her time on stage - the excitement, the constant change, the audience reaction.  For the first time in her life, she wanted to be able to become someone else.

Sheldon would never understand.

The sound of a car approaching her house draws her attention.  A red Honda civic pulls into her driveway and rattles a bit as it is put into park.  Penny leans forward and her eyes widen when her father gets out of the car.

“Dad?”

“Hey, Slugger!”  Wyatt grins and waves.  “Look what I got ya!”

Penny gets off the swing and begins to walks with hesitant steps toward her father.

“Dad, this is a car.” Penny peers inside the passenger window.

“Yup.”

“You always said we should buy our own cars.  Tommy did.”

Wyatt’s eyes harden, “Tommy chose a different path than you.”

 _“_ Why did you get this for me?  It’s not like we have the best relationship.  Hardly ‘new car- worthy’, that’s for sure.”  Years of being with Sheldon taught Penny to be as frank as possible.

Wyatt leans on the roof and looks his daughter in the eye, “How long have you been sitting on that swing?”

“Few hours,” Penny shrugs one shoulder.

“Exactly.  In fact, the only time I didn’t see you on that swing, staring into space was when you were in that play.  You were alive. Vibrant.  Excited about something.”

Penny watches her father’s gestures and facial expressions; she nods in agreement with him.

“Don’t you want to feel that way again?”

“I do, Dad but there aren’t auditions for another month and Sheldon will be home in a few days…”

“Of course,” Wyatt shakes his head.  “It always comes back to Sheldon.”  Penny bristles at his words but Wyatt continues, “At least you have this to chauffer him around Galveston now.”

“I think you know there is more to our relationship than that.” Penny snaps.

Wyatt reaches into his pocket.  A soft jingle and a flash in the air and Penny’s hand reaches up to snatch the keys before they fall.

“I just know that there is definitely more to you.”  Wyatt answers before heading into the house.

 

X

 

Penny is leaning against the passenger side door of a bright red Civic when Sheldon comes out of the train station.  He smiles when he sees her; she does not in return.

“This is new.” He indicates the car.  Penny takes his bag and tosses it in the back seat.

“My dad got it for me. I guess all his guilt about his affairs and, basically, ignoring me once I got boobs finally caught up with him.”

Sheldon doesn’t know what to say to that; it is clear that Penny is in some type of “mood” but he can not determine what it is.  He is willing to bet that, somehow, he is the cause of her irritation.  Silently, they both get into the car.  Sheldon looks in the back seat, checking on his bag and is surprised to see that the rear of the car is filled with other bags that are nearly bursting from their contents.

“Are you living in your car now?”  He asks innocently.  Penny gives him a baleful look and starts the engine.

Sheldon folds his hands in his lap and begins to go over any events that may have led to the creation of the angry Penny beside him.  He had given her adequate notice of his arrival back home (Two weeks and she had been very excited at the time to pick him up), they had had several conversations about what his next move would be now that he had his second doctorate in hand.  His train had arrived on time; he had a small present for her in his bag.  He could find no logical reason for her ill humor.

“Penny, have I done something to make you angry?”

She snorts and shakes her head, “It’s always about you, isn’t it Sheldon?  Are you hungry?”

“It is past lunch time,” He points to the dashboard clock.

“Does that mean you are hungry or are you just making me aware of the time?”  Penny grits her teeth. 

Sheldon looks over at her, “It’s a simple case of deductive reasoning, Penny.  You asked if I was hungry. I informed you it was past lunch time therefore the implication is that yes I am hungry as I missed my regular time to eat due to traveling so…”

“Oh my God!  Just stop talking!  Please!”  She wrenches the wheel and the car skids into a Chili’s.  Penny throws it in park and is out the door before Sheldon has even unbuckled his seat belt.

It takes a minute for his eyes to adjust to the dim interior of the restaurant but, when they do, he sees Penny sitting in a table closest to the door, buried behind a menu.  Sheldon walks over to her and sits.  Penny continues to read the Chili’s menu as if it were the latest edition of Cosmo.

“I traveled six hours by train,” Sheldon begins, straightening out the silverware.  Penny sighs heavily and drops the menu.

“Sheldon…” She growls.

“SIX HOURS!” He cuts her off without hesitation.  Penny blinks in surprise.  “I have spent the sum total of five years away from you. Now, I am home - presumably to discuss the trajectory of my future and yours - and you’ve been meaner’n a junkyard dog since I arrived.  Now, I am going home. When you are ready to be civil, let me know.”  He takes a small box out of his beige messenger bag and tosses it on the table before leaving her open-mouthed in the restaurant.

Penny stares at the small box for many minutes after Sheldon left.  Her hand shakes a bit when she draws it toward her.  The lid snaps open and Penny feels tears of relief at the corners of her eyes when she registers the contents.

Nestled on the white velvet is a ring. Not THE ring but a ring, a perfectly appropriate ring.  It is a gold band topped with a deep red oval cut ruby circled by seven small diamonds.  Penny would bet Sheldon’s Meemaw would call this a “friendship ring” and she is more certain this is probably one of Meemaw’s to boot. The gold is soft and burnished, lacking the high polish of new jewelry.  Penny places the ring box into her purse then takes a sip of the icy Coke in front of her before bursting into legitimate tears.

 

X

 

When Penny pulls into the driveway of the Cooper household, she cannot believe her luck.  Not a single car is in the driveway - this has never happened in all her years of knowing Sheldon.

She skips up the stairs and opens the screen door without ringing the bell.  A decade of friendship gives her certain privileges.

“Sheldon!”  Her voice echoes through the house.  “Come on, Sheldon. I know you’re here.”

The house is silent all around her.  She considers leaving - he’s done it for years, isn’t it her turn now?

“Shel-DON!”  Penny hollers as she climbs the stairs.  Her anger builds with each step and, she realizes, she is so tired of feeling this way.  With Sheldon, life is a series of extremes. Highs and lows.  There is never, ever any middle ground and that just sucks.

She throws open the door to his room.  He is sitting on his bed, a comic book spread across his lap.

“Penny!’ Sheldon yelps.  “What are…?”

“Shut up.” She projects herself at him. “Just shut up.”

 

X

 

Granted, they’ve only done this a handful of times and his eidetic memory has replayed each of them more often than his Christian upbringing would warrant necessary, but even Sheldon picks up on the different quality of their lovemaking as Penny continues her assault on his mouth.

She is straddling his hips, rolling against him.  Sheldon’s fingers are woven loosely in her hair as he matches her kiss for kiss.  Penny pushes her tongue into his mouth and, when he clamps his teeth down on it, her groan fills the room.  His hands tighten in her hair, crushing their mouths together.

“Yeah,” Penny gasps between kisses, “just like that.”

Her hands are scrabbling at his double shirts.  Sheldon holds his arms up and Penny whips them over his head before tossing her shirt onto the floor.  They pause for just a minute.  Sheldon runs his hands down her shoulders and over her collarbone; Penny’s head rolls on her neck at his touch.  Her bra is a lilac lace; the scent of her skin honeysuckle. Always.  Sheldon leans forward and ghosts his lips over the curves of her breasts peeking from the lace cups.  Some part of him indicates that he should be nervous, unsure but this is Penny and he has never felt that way around her.

“God, Sheldon. Need you so bad.”  Penny pants as he frees her from her bra and takes one raised nipple in his mouth.  He raises his head and pulls her mouth down to his again. Their tongues touch and then Penny breaks free and hops off Sheldon whose mouth opens in protest but he watches as she scurries to her purse, rummages around then returns to the bed with a closed fist.  Sheldon’s brows draw together until Penny unfolds her palm to reveal the foil square there and then she is within his reach and her mouth is on his again.

Penny nips at his lower lip.  Their hips grind into each other and Sheldon can feel the heat building between them.  Penny wraps her arms around his neck and tugs until Sheldon pushes her down onto the bed.

In seconds, they are naked. Denim shorts mingle with brown plaid on the blue carpet.  White briefs are topped with a miniscule pair of purple panties.  Penny reaches between them, slipping the sheath on him.  Sheldon lets out a small whimper that seems to echo through the stillness of the house as her hands caress him.

Penny’s legs twine with Sheldon’s and it never ceases to amaze her how her foot barely makes it past his calf.  He is there at the center of her, ready.  She opens her legs more.  He has always been the one for her - she’s known it forever but his next words break her heart.

“I love you.”

She kisses him again, tongues tangling.  Her hips tilt up and Sheldon enters her.  He begins a slow grind until Penny’s nails quicken his pace.  The creak of the bed drowns out their gasps and groans

“Harder.” She orders through clenched teeth.  All those years of reading fashion magazines at a vulnerable age give her the language if not the know-how.  Sheldon is deep within her; his eyes closed.  He buries his head in the curve of her shoulder and somehow, his lips are at her neck and his mouth repeats the actions of hers on that long-ago night in the woods.

“Fuck, Sheldon!” Penny exclaims as his teeth work that sensitive tendon on the side.  Unseen, Sheldon smiles at her profanity.  Her pulse thrums against his tongue.  His teeth close down on the heated skin and Penny’s hips buck into his in response.  Sheldon sucks and rolls the skin there between his teeth until he can feel Penny’s muscles begin to quiver around him.

“Oh.  Oh, yeah. Oh yeah.”  Penny’s legs clench around his waist.  Sheldon thrusts once, twice and then a strangled groan leaves his throat.  The headboard slams audibly against the wall before settling down to slow taps as Sheldon and Penny finish writhing in unison.  They are a tangled heap in his bed; neither one willing to move.  Finally, Sheldon raises his head. A bead of sweat is tracking its way down his temple and Penny flicks it away carelessly.

“Do you accept my apology?” Penny’s eyes twinkle and Sheldon gives her a wry grin.

 

X

 

They make love once more (Mary Cooper is at a church meeting).  The sight of Penny’s hips rolling on top of his is almost too much. His fingers clench her hips with such force she will have faint bruises the next day.  Sheldon consumes her, tossing aside his usual squeamishness and following her every directive (her memory can be eidetic too, when she wants it to be) until Penny throws back her head and stammers his name.

They don’t sleep long- every noise startles them into thinking someone has arrived home.  Her head is nestled on his chest.  Penny relishes the warmth of his hand on her shoulder. The slow caress of his fingers as they curve down to her elbow and back up again.  It is a perfect moment - one that they could always have.

“Sheldon, I’m leaving Galveston.”

His hand freezes.

“I don’t understand.”

Penny pushes herself up, clutching the sheet to her body.  Sheldon is still prone, the sheet around his waist.

“I’m going to California. To be an actress.” Penny announces.

“An actress?” Sheldon’s eyebrows climb up his forehead. “I thought you enrolled in Junior college?  You were going to be a dental assistant.”

“Seriously, Sheldon!  Can you really imagine me sticking my fingers in people’s mouths?  I want to be an actress. Light up the stage and screen.”  She beams a smile at him.

“I don’t see this as a promising endeavor’ Sheldon warns.  “How will you live as you wait for your ‘big break’?”  His finger quotes make Penny’s lip curl.

“Nice to see you are as supportive as ever,” Penny snaps.  “Did I ever discourage you from your dreams?  How many times have you left me to go off and pursue some crazy-ass degree?”

“My dreams are couched in reality.”  Sheldon tugs on clean undergarments and paws through his drawer for new pants.

“Reality?” Penny hoots.  “You have two degrees based on _theory._   Nobody even knows if the stuff you studied even exists.”

“I do.” Sheldon says quietly.  Penny snorts and snatches her clothes up from the floor. “Penny?”

“Yeah?”

“If you are leaving, and you still haven’t told me when, what was this?” Sheldon gestures to the rumpled bed.

Penny walks over to him.  She has slipped her shorts and bra back on and Sheldon feels his temperature rise once more. His hands encircle her waist to press her body against his.

“This afternoon was goodbye, Sheldon.” Penny’s lips brush against his bare chest with each word.  “And I am leaving as soon as I can.”

Sheldon rests his chin on top of her head.  His arms have fallen away from her and Penny feels the old familiar stiffness tighten up his limbs and spine.  She smiles slightly.  He is already drawing away from her.

“I could come with you.”  His words cause her eyes to widen.  For a moment, she considers it - Penny and Sheldon in California.  He could do whatever it is he does while she pounded the pavement for the acting career she knew was waiting for her.  They could be together like always.  Penny frowns.  And she would never change, never grow, and never have any opportunities.  Sheldon’s experienced so much in his twenty three years and her biggest accomplishment was being part of the Rodeo Queen’s Court.

Penny steps back, “No. I am doing this on my own.”  She finally looks at him and never in her life has she seen him look so lost.  A lump chokes her next words but she persists through it.

“I’ll never forget you, Sheldon. I know you’ll never forget me.” She utters a weak laugh then clears her throat.  “I better go.”

He waits until she has pulled on her shirt and is standing in his bedroom door. From below, they both hear the slam of the screen door and Mary Cooper singing “A mighty fortress is my God.”

Penny pauses by his bureau.  She looks at him over her shoulder, knowing if she faces him fully she’ll never leave.

He is sitting on the edge of the bed. Penny reaches into her back pocket.

She leaves the ring box on the polished surface.

 

X

 

Sheldon’s knees are pulled up to his chin.  The pillow under his left cheek is damp but he barely registers the sensation.  His muscles are cramped - he’s been in this position for a full day now.  Mary brought him soup - chicken with the little stars at 180 degrees - but he simply rolled onto his right side until she left with the untouched tray.  There is absolutely no reason to get up from this bed or leave this room.  He doesn’t even care if string theory is ever validated.  Penny is gone and he still doesn’t understand why.

“Get up.” His father growls from Sheldon’s doorway.

Sheldon buries his shoulder into the pillow some more.  His father remains in the doorway, breathing heavily.  Sheldon’s nose twitches as the faint undertones of Wild Turkey emanate from George Senior.

“Did you hear me, boy?  I told you to get outta that bed.”

Sheldon doesn’t even glance at his father.  The last time George entered this room Sheldon was twelve and had conducted his experiment with steps, raising the height by two millimeters.  Even a broken clavicle did not stop George Cooper from wielding his belt hard enough to draw blood from the backs of Sheldon’s legs.  While Sheldon doesn’t put it past his father to repeat such a beating, he is confident that he can outrun his father this time. 

Sheldon’s ears perk up when his father’s heavy tread makes the floorboards rattle.

“Arrogant sonofabitch,” George spits through clenched teeth. “This is my house,” Sheldon feels the bed move, “and when I tell you to do something…” his mattress is tilting. “You damn well better do it!”

With a mighty heave, George lifts the mattress, effectively tossing Sheldon onto the floor.  Sheldon is so surprised he doesn’t break his fall and hits the floor with full force.  His father is breathing heavily - his own personal Darth Vader.  Sheldon lays there - his elbow may be sprained, there is definitely going to be a bruise on his thigh where he landed on an action figure.

“Get up, Sheldon!” His father roars.  “You ain’t gonna spend your life in this room, feelin’ sorry for yourself.”

“When did you ever care how I spent my life?” Sheldon mutters as he pulls up to a sitting position on the floor.

“What’s that, boy?” His father looms over him.

Sheldon glares at George, “I said, when did you ever care about how I spent my life?”

His father’s hand reaches out, grabs a fistful of Green lantern shirt and hauls Sheldon to his feet,

“You think you can mouth off to me just because you have all sorts of degrees now?”  They are nose to nose.  Sheldon finds staring into eyes exactly like his but filled with rage to be disconcerting. “I cared enough to keep clothes on your back, shoes on your feet, pay for all them fancy tests so you could go to the schools you wanted,” George shakes him with every phrase and Sheldon feels his eyes roll in his head.  “Didn’t do one lick of good. Look at yah!  Sniveling and crying.  Missy’s got more balls’n you do.”  With that he flings Sheldon away from him. 

Sheldon hits his nightstand and the lamp on it crashes to the floor.

“Come on!” George taunts. “Get up!  Be a man!  Stop livin’ inside your head and deal with reality for a change.”

Sheldon grabs the toppled lamp and raises it over his head, “Don’t you touch me again.  EVER!” 

“Oooh, aren’t we tough.” His father holds his hands up in mock surrender.  “Maybe if you showed more of that spine and less of that brain, Penny would still be here or maybe you’d be there with her.”

“Get out!” Sheldon brandishes the lamp. “Get out _now_.”

George stops the swing with one hand and a raspy laugh escapes him, “You don’t pay rent here, Shelly-boy. This is my room.  You don’t like that,” George pulls the lamp from Sheldon’s limp grasp. “You can leave whenever you want.”  George heads for the door, pausing at Sheldon’s bureau.  “You’re an educated man now. Go wherever you want.”  He flicks his wrist and Sheldon instinctively flinches.

The flower barrette that had fallen from Penny’s hair when they last made love lands at his feet.

 

X

 

“Oh, Shelly!” Mary throws her arms around him and sobs on his shoulder.

“Mom, please.” Sheldon huffs as people begin lining up at the plane’s gate.

“California is so far away.  So…PAGAN!  I just thought…hoped, really that you’d settle down in Texas.”  Mary mops her face with tissues.

“Yes, because there is so much work for rocket scientists in Texas.” Missy drawls.

“Physicist!” Sheldon hisses at her.

Junior muscles his way between his mother and brother.  He holds out his hand; Sheldon slowly takes it.

“Make me proud, Shelly.” Sheldon lets Junior pull him into a hug.

The final call for boarding is broadcast.  Junior claps him hard on the shoulders.  Missy embraces him, planting a thick fuchsia kiss on his cheek.  Finally, Sheldon turns back to his mother.

“Now, Sheldon, you look out for yourself.  Remember how you were raised.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Mary’s eyes are bright with tears, “You call me the minute you land, you hear?” Sheldon nods then heads for the gate.  He turns to wave at the family that came to see him off.  “Jesus loves you!” Mary shouts unabashedly.  Sheldon rolls his eyes.

On the plane, he stares out the window.  He is fairly certain he can still see the outlines of his mother, Missy and Junior at the terminal windows.  Sheldon frowns - he finds he actually is sad that his father didn’t come to see him off.  When Sheldon announced he was going to California to work at Caltech, his mother wailed loud enough to be heard in two counties.  George simply tossed a handful of peanuts in his mouth, “’Bout time,” he commented, but Sheldon caught the sly wink.

The seatbelt sign lights up over his head.  The flight attendants have begun their safety spiel.  Sheldon settles back in his seat.  In his mind, there are an infinite number of universes and an infinite number of Sheldons but there is only one Penny.

 

END


End file.
